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February 21 2020

05:00
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Grandpa Jason and Grandpa Chad
The AARP puts the average age of a first-time grandparent close to 50, and the CDC has some data. But I don't have first-parent age distributions for specific names, or generational first-child age correlations, so the dotted line is just a guess. Still, let's be honest: No further research is really *needed.*

February 19 2020

05:00
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Picking Bad Stocks
On the news a few days later: "Buzz is building around the so-called 'camping Roomba' after a big investment. Preorders have spiked, and..."

February 17 2020

05:00
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Phylogenetic Tree
And I was kicked out of my March Madness pool because I wouldn't shut up about the evidence for NBA/ABA endosymbiosis.

February 14 2020

05:00
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Further Research is Needed
Further research is needed to fully understand how we managed to do such a good job.

February 12 2020

05:00
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Blockchain
Blockchains are like grappling hooks, in that it's extremely cool when you encounter a problem for which they're the right solution, but it happens way too rarely in real life.

February 10 2020

05:00
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Leap Smearing
Some people suspect that it started as a "No, I didn't forget Valentine's Day" excuse that got out of hand.

February 07 2020

05:00
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Tax AI
I ended up getting my tax return prepared at a local place by a really friendly pretrained neural net named Greg.

February 05 2020

05:00
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Satellite
If you're going to let it burn up, make sure it happens over the deep end of the bathtub and not any populated parts of the house!

February 03 2020

05:00
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Cicadas
After a while you adjust to the new cicadian rhythm.

January 31 2020

05:00
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Parker Solar Probe
It will get within 9 or 10 Sun-diameters of the "bottom" (the Sun's surface) which seems pretty far when you put it that way, but from up here on Earth it's practically all the way down.

January 29 2020

05:00
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Worst Thing That Could Happen
Before I install any patch, I always open the patch notes and Ctrl-F for 'supervolcano', 'seagull', and 'garbage disposal', just to be safe.

January 27 2020

05:00
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Reaction Maps
If Google Maps stops letting you navigate to (Clay County District) A in West Virginia, you can try Jump, OH -> Ina, IL -> Big Hole, TX.

January 24 2020

05:00
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Networking Problems
LOOK, THE LATENCY FALLS EVERY TIME YOU CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SAY YOU BELIEVE

January 22 2020

05:00
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Solar System Changes
"Actually, Jupiter already has a very impressive ring system!" --someone who knows Jupiter is within earshot

January 20 2020

05:00
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Unsubscribe Message
A mix of the two is even worse: 'Thanks for unsubscribing and helping us pare this list down to reliable supporters.'

January 17 2020

05:00
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Bad Map Projection: South America
The projection does a good job preserving both distance and azimuth, at the cost of really exaggerating how many South Americas there are.
Reposted byiggy iggy

January 15 2020

05:00
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Tattoo Ideas
The text ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US with a lengthy footnote explaining that I got this tattoo in 2020 and not, as you may assume, 2001, but offering no further clarification.

January 13 2020

05:00
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JPEG2000
I was actually a little relieved when I learned that JPEG2000 was used in the DCI digital cinema standard. I was feeling so bad for it!

January 10 2020

05:00
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Star Wars Voyager 1
There's some flexibility depending on your standards for measuring runtime and the various special editions. If you still want to have a party, I'm sure you can find some combination that works.

January 08 2020

05:00
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Parenthetical Names
I never got around to seeing that movie about the battle (of Midway).
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