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June 01 2020

04:00
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Carcinization
Nature abhors a vacuum and also anything that's not a crab.

May 29 2020

04:00
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Wrong Times Table
Deep in some corner of my heart, I suspect that real times tables are wrong about 6x7=42 and 8x7=56.
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May 27 2020

04:00
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mbmbam
Hello and welcome to Millibar Millibarn Attometer, an advice show for the Planck era.

May 25 2020

04:00
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Confidence Interval
The worst part is that's the millisigma interval.

May 22 2020

04:00
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Great Attractor
Living in the southern hemisphere was nice because I could jump extra high, but I like it here too. Besides, if I ever want to move back, I can just curl up in a ball and wait!

May 20 2020

04:00
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X
The worst is when you run out of monospaced fonts and have to use variable-width variables.

May 18 2020

04:00
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Mount St. Helens
It's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.

May 15 2020

04:00
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Alive Or Not
Computer viruses currently fall somewhere between prions and fire.

May 13 2020

04:00
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Common Cold
Not even metapneumovirus, easily the common cold virus with the coolest name, warrants our sympathy. Colds suck. No mercy.

May 11 2020

04:00
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Coronavirus Polling
If you want to see the polling questions we agree on MOST, you can check out Chapter 24 of my book How To, where I got the Roper Center on Public Opinion Research to help me design the world's least electable political campaign platform.

May 08 2020

04:00
0508 497d
Preprint
DOWNSIDES: Adobe people may periodically email your newsroom to ask you to call it an 'Adobe® PDF document,' but they'll reverse course once they learn how sarcastically you can pronounce the registered trademark symbol.

May 06 2020

04:00
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Error Types
Type IIII error: Mistaking tally marks for Roman neumerals

May 04 2020

04:00
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2020 Google Trends
As the 'exotic animals in homemade aprons hosting baking shows' YouTube craze reached its peak in March 2020, Andrew Cuomo announced he was replacing the Statue of Liberty with a bronze pangolin in a chef's hat.

May 01 2020

04:00
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Turtle Sandwich Standard Model
It's possible the bread and shell can be split into a top and bottom flavor, and some models additionally suggest Strange Bread and Charm Shells.

April 30 2020

04:00
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Everyone's an Epidemiologist
If enough people uphill decide to try the rolling strategy, they can make the decision for you.

April 27 2020

04:00
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Coronavirus Genome 2
[moments later, checking phone] Okay, I agree my posting it was weird, but it's somehow even more unnerving that you immediately liked the post.

April 24 2020

04:00
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Coronavirus Genome
Spellcheck has been great, but whoever figures out how to get grammar check to work is guaranteed a Nobel.

April 22 2020

04:00
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Use or Discard By
One of the things of bear spray says that, and I'm not one to disobey safety instructions, but there are no bears around here. Guess it's time for a camping trip where we leave lots of food out!

April 20 2020

04:00
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Sourdough Starter
Once the lockdown is over, let's all get together and swap starters!

April 17 2020

04:00
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Garbage Math
'Garbage In, Garbage Out' should not be taken to imply any sort of conservation law limiting the amount of garbage produced.
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