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November 15 2019

05:00
2770 cf43
Rey and Kylo
We're like 10+ movies in and the focus has been almost entirely on the WARS half.

November 13 2019

05:00
1684 eb31
Machine Learning Captcha
More likely: Click on all the pictures of people who appear disloyal to [name of company or government]
Sponsored post
feedback2020-admin
20:51

November 11 2019

05:00
0938 0923
Transit of Mercury
For some reason the water in my pool is green and there's a weird film on the surface #nofilter

November 08 2019

05:00
8446 dea1 390
Recombination And Reionization
These signals seem to be pre-star-formation but post-Malone.

November 06 2019

05:00
7454 e244
Voting Referendum
The weirdest quirk of the Borda count is that Jean-Charles de Borda automatically gets one point; luckily this has no consequences except in cases of extremely low turnout.

November 04 2019

05:00
3429 f8de 390
Software Updates
Everything is a cloud application; the ping times just vary a lot.

November 01 2019

04:00
4532 c421
Screen Time
These new Bluetooth socks are great, but it's troubling to learn that I average almost 14 hours of Shoe Time a day.

October 30 2019

04:00
4199 86fb 390
Terminator: Dark Fate
I was sent here to stop the robot that was sent here to protect the human who was sent here to protect the human who was sent here to destroy the robot that was sent here to vacuum the floor.

October 28 2019

04:00
4143 09e0
Emulation
I laugh at the software as if I'm 100% confident that it's 2019.

October 25 2019

04:00
4146 8d84 390
Imagine Going Back in Time
I wonder what the trendy adults in 2019 who are too cool for Pokemon will be into. Probably Digimon!

October 23 2019

04:00
4148 5f2d 390
Earthquake Early Warnings
I was fired by the National Weather Service five minutes after they hired me for going into their code base and renaming all the tornado warnings to "tornado spoiler alerts."

October 21 2019

04:00
4150 45e3 390
Wardrobe
If you'd just agree to hold your meetings in here, you'd have PLENTY of time to figure things out before the deadline.

October 16 2019

04:00
3618 76bb
Percent Milkfat
"So what's dark energy?" "Cosmologists and the FDA are both trying very hard to find out."

October 14 2019

04:00
2490 5391
Faculty:Student Ratio
They managed to briefly hit the top of the rankings when they rejected everyone except one applicant, published 5 billion research papers that just said "Hi," and hired one of their graduates for $50 trillion/year (then fired them after 10 microseconds.)

October 11 2019

04:00
4009 ba54 390
Chemistry Nobel
Most chemists thought the lanthanides and actinides could be inserted in the sixth and seventh rows, but no, they're just floating down at the bottom with lots more undiscovered elements all around them.

October 09 2019

04:00
8871 bfef
How Old
We've met! I remember you when you were thiiiis tall! [*holds a hand an inch above their head*]

October 07 2019

04:00
3259 2514 390
Cell Phone Functions
... tazer ... fire extinguisher ... bird feeder ... toilet paper ...

October 04 2019

04:00
3260 00a6
Hours Before Departure
They could afford to cut it close because they all had Global Entry.

October 02 2019

04:00
3261 dab0 390
College Athletes
Their signature play is the three-point combinator, a recursive offense which is guaranteed not to halt and continues accumulating points until the buzzer.

September 30 2019

04:00
3262 d97e 390
Fresh Pears
I want to sell apples but I'm still working on getting the machine to do the cutting and grafting.
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